Living in Fear of Food

By Jennifer Schwarz
Raising Arizona Kids, August 2010 Issue

Imagine what it is like to live in fear of food. This is the reality that we face every hour of every day with our three children: Max (10), Kori (8) and Emma (5), each of whom suffers from multiple, life-threatening food allergies. For them, even the touch or smell of foods like peanuts, tree nuts, dairy, eggs, sesame seeds or mustard can cause serious, or even fatal, reactions. 

Imagine what it is like to watch your child experience a severe allergic reaction. Emma’s throat began to close, inhibiting her breathing, after she ate a store-bought cookie—and another time after eating soy ice cream. Both were supposedly “free” of her allergens. Minutes after eating a sliver of cheese—approximately 1/25th of a slice—our son Max broke out in hives, his face began to swell, he was wheezing and his throat was gurgling.

Thankfully, both times I was with my children. I recognized the symptoms and administered emergency medicine immediately. I often wonder what would have happened if I had not been there. Would anyone have noticed? Would the medicine have been administered in time?

Keeping our children safe often feels like a full-time job. We schedule meetings to educate school and camp administrators, teachers and team coaches. We make multiple trips to a variety of grocery stores to purchase foods we hope are safe. Play dates and birthday parties require extra planning—from making sure the venue is safe (Chuck E. Cheese’s is out for Emma) to preparing food and cupcakes to send along.

Eating in restaurants is extremely rare for us because of the risks of cross-contamination and the lack of knowledge among restaurant staff. The ordinary convenience of “grabbing a bite to eat” is not a luxury we enjoy. When our son attends overnight camp in another state (admittedly, our choice), we send four weeks of food along with him. Travel requires extensive preparations: bringing food, researching local grocery stores and finding accommodations with kitchens.

What is perhaps most difficult is that, unlike other diseases, this one forces us to impose on those around us to help keep our children safe. What others eat can cause severe harm, and even death, to our children. Residue from food on another child’s hands or on playground equipment could easily wind up in one of our children’s eyes, nose or mouth—leading to a life-threatening situation.

Some people are extremely resistant, even hostile, to the idea that their children might be denied what they perceive to be an inalienable right to eat peanut butter. A mother once told me how difficult Max’s nut-free classroom was on her daughter. Peanut exposure could kill my son, but she said this was not her problem and she hoped her daughter was not in his class the following year. Another parent asked our teacher if nut-allergic children could eat in the office so that her child could bring peanut butter to school. Are these the lessons we are teaching our children?

Thankfully, these few, resistant parents are the exception. We are blessed by a community of families that truly cares about our children and accepts the responsibility to keep them safe. Many see the nut restrictions as life lessons for their children, who have learned what it means to sacrifice and show compassion for a friend, to appreciate their own blessings and to survive without peanut butter.

It is impossible to create a perfectly safe environment for our kids. But in schools, camps and extracurricular activities, where parents cannot be there to monitor their children, and where reasonable systems can easily be put in place to reduce the risks of allergic reactions, we ask for a little help—and perhaps a bit of understanding.

Jennifer Schwarz, of Paradise Valley, is the founder of Food Allergy S.O.S., LLC (http://www.FoodAllergySOS.com/), a counsulting, coaching and advocacy resource for families and individuals living with food allergies. Contact her at 602-680-8382 or info@FoodAllergySOS.com.

This article originally appeared in Raising Arizona Kids magazine and is reprinted with permission of the publisher. https://www.raisingarizonakids.com/index.php?page=1.library.article_view&ar_id=1355