My Response to Gettleman: A Nut Allergy Skeptic Learns the Hard Way

OK, I admit it—it sometimes takes every ounce of restraint that I have not to wish food allergies on people like Debra Gettleman, who obviously have to get it to “get it” (see Gettleman's article, "Nuts about Peanuts").  Joel Stein understands this all too well.  You see, at the beginning of last year, Mr. Stein, a journalist and regular contributor to Time Magazine (who also makes regular appearances on the E! television network), wrote an article entitled, "Nut Allergies:  A Yuppie Invention" in the LA Times, where he claimed that nut allergies were invented by rich yuppies and that their kids don't have allergies to nuts--"[t]hey have parents who just need to feel special.”  I was shocked at the time--and saddened that someone who was so witty could be such an idiot. 

You can imagine my shock when, lo and behold, Mr. Stein shared with the world in a recent article in Time Magazine that his one year old son had suffered from a severe allergic reaction to nuts. In his article entitled, "A Nut Allergy Skeptic Learns the Hard Way," Mr. Stein contritely shares his remorse for his past insensitivity as he offers a glimpse into what it was like for him to watch his son's allergic reaction ("breaking out in hives . . . crying through welded shut eyes, then screaming and, finally, vomiting copiously at the entrance of the Children's Hospital emergency room an hour after eating his first batch of blended nuts.") 

Mr. Stein, I swear I never wished food allergies on you or your family (although, I admit, that every time I saw you on E!, I rolled my eyes!).  I am actually very sad for your son and for your family.  You see, you will now live in our world--one that not only presents daily challenges to keep your child safe, but one that is also filled with insensitivity and ignorance.     

Ms. Gettleman, Joel Stein's story is exactly the point.  You don't know what it is like to live with a condition unless you live with the condition.  But, does it take an extreme situation like this to teach the lesson?  Can't we all try to give each other the benefit of the doubt and look at life beyond our own inconveniences?  There are many gifts that come along with having a child or children with special needs.  One of these gifts is the gift of compassion and understanding.  Whether it is food allergies, diabetes or any other disease that afflicts our children, we in the special needs community know what it is like to walk in someone else's shoes. 

When insensitive and erroneous articles like yours (and Mr. Stein's first article) are published, you do not realize the damage you cause.  As if living with food allergies isn't hard enough--we have to add dealing with this type of attitude to the mix.  You cannot expect elementary school age children to be able to say "no thank you" to protect themselves from airborne peanut dust.  Moreover, to analogize expecting the world to stop serving cheeseburgers for kosher reasons with asking people not to eat nuts around children with severe nut allergies is, frankly, absurd.  One is life threatening and one is not.  If you want to talk Jewish values, what about the value of Judaism that to save one life is to save the world?  Believe it or not, families of children with food allergies do not want to burden others with our challenges.  Trust me.  But, unfortunately, this was the hand we were dealt and we hope that others will help us keep our children safe.  Wouldn't you want the same? 

As a fellow Jewish parent, I just completed my day of atonement, where I did some serious self-reflection on what I can do to be a better person and a more positive citizen of the world.  I couldn't help but wonder if you did the same.  I hope that Joel Stein's story can be a lesson for us all.